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| Sunday, July 5th, 2009 | | 2:22 am |
dancing report
Saw the Boston fireworks from the roof of the Center for Astrophysics. Then went dancing to '80s music. Gah. My moves, at first, were too goofy. When I try to rev up and dance fast, I sometimes end up acting like I'm skipping rope real fast--just bopping from side to side. But later in the evening I rediscovered full body motion, and that was cool. At first when I arrived, the club was pretty empty. Most people were still coming back from watching fireworks. There was enough room on the actual dance floor, not just the stage, to dance. I danced near a couple of attractive women at first, but then the stage beckoned... ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) winters_chill was there, as usual, very friendly. It was the birthday of the bartender Terri, and Crossdressing Black Guy just wore regular clothes--a T-shirt that said, "Heart your Bartender"... Anyway, it was some needed exercise.
| | Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 | | 10:30 pm |
Let's talk about philosophers whose names begin with S
Hey, I hadn't realized it! Tomorrow's kind of a federal legal holiday, isn't it? I was expecting to go into work; maybe I don't have to. Feels like it could be a bonus day off. hyperina's latest valuable addition to my life is recommending that I go to a local Meetup philosophy discussion group. This particular group has been meeting for something like 2 years already, moving chronologically through the philosophers since Plato. Right now they're doing Schopenhauer, particularly the 4th book of The World as Will and Representation. hyperina wasn't there, which is too bad (although at the end when I mentioned that was how I knew their group was worth going to, I was told she was the "girl with the shoes"... ?) Anyway, I often feel: Hey, I'm in Cambridge, MA, supposedly home of so many smart people interested in smart things--and yet why don't I have a social life revolving around creative thinking? Well, there's Alec... But I think this Meetup group may help fill this role. One of the members is a Turkish ex-philosophy professor, now working as a software engineer. Another is a Hungarian guy trained in physics. Still another was very knowledgeable about Schopenhauer. Several were also members of something called the Goethe Institute. There was a security guard who was reading Philip K. Dick's Ubik (he didn't like it much though.) There was an Asian-American lawyer who'd studied philosophy in college (the only one to get my reference to Thomas Nagel's "What is it like to be a bat?") Schopenhauer is not among the philosophers who I naturally gravitated towards. His view that the world can only be described subjectively, and the emphasis on "will" both turned me off as a scientist. Turns out, though that the emphasis on "will" was not the stereotypical macho emphasis, in place for example in the run-up to the Iraq War (the neocons insisting we had to demonstrate our "will" by invading Iraq), but in fact (1) Schopenhauer suggests that the "will" often can't achieve its aims, leading to suffering, and that the best path in life is often to get beyond it, and (2) reading more about this philosophy, I find it interesting from the point of view of someone better versed in the "empiricist" philosophers. These put emphasis on "sense-data", although in a more sophisticated view, perception is complicated (often not what we think it is), and how we describe it is often "socially constructed". But the empiricist view of the world overlooks that one has a direct view of cause and effect within one's own self, or between one's mind and one's body... And so these continental philosophers seem to be trying to put verbs back into a description of the world (from Kant, Spinoza, etc. before them) that was mostly nouns. Of course one's introspection of causes and effects within oneself, or how one causes one's body to move, is like the idea of "sense-data", idealized, it may be an idealization that's valid as a basis of thinking even though it's never actually achieved. Anyway, I still don't really buy into this way of thinking, but it historically influenced both Einstein and Schrodinger, and I think it's good to be exposed to new ways of thinking. Philosophy has a reputation for sometimes getting lost in word-games, and while at the end of the day I don't feel it's accomplished much as real as science has, I enjoyed the ways of thinking and feel a little deprived of philosophical reflection in my science work, which is more cut and dried. I felt that although it was my first time with the group, that I contributed positively, and came across as philosophically adept. Though I think I may be taking a little more initiative in my day to day research. And I also realized how much a difference it makes to me, psychologically, in my work, when I take a little time to put what I'm doing into context, to think about how mind-boggling, majestic even, the distance and time scales I'm working with are, how the evolution of these galaxies and stars follows such clear paths yet takes place over such long times... I went to the Cantab for the poetry slam on Wednesday. theryk is one of the several MCs there. The form of poetry there is pretty close to stand-up comedy. Some of those people are pretty damn funny. (And Jade Sylvan is pretty hot, though I enjoy her poetry more than what I've seen of her novel so far.) I get a sense that poetry performance at open-mic makes these people self-actualized, that they become who they present themselves as, whereas for me--I live in memories and beliefs, and the presentation isn't so vital to me. So tomorrow will be a day off--do some laundry, then settle in to the Karma Yoga Studio Cafe to work on some original ideas...
| | Saturday, June 27th, 2009 | | 3:53 pm |
dancing report
I went dancing last night for the first time in a while. I'd been away in Woodstock, where I missed a Freestyle Frolic, and then at my friend Nova's surprise birthday party in SF. Whew! I am worn out today. Seem to lack energy for thinking about science ideas... At least for now. Maybe if I hunkered down in a cafe I'd get stuff done. But last night I really tore up that dance floor. And at 41 years old (hey, I even got carded at the door!) It was dress in black night at the dance club, and I wore my "Homeland Security: Fighting Terrorism Since 1492" shirt with the Native Americans with rifles (as my friend J has native ancestry). I'm pretty sure at one point a guy gave me a knowing look--he looked Native American, I think he was approving. They played "Personal Jesus" which now reminds me of this guy Seth who used to dance in the Bowling Green dance club (the Uptown I think it was called). He died trying to stage an amateur film. His girlfriend told me that he used to like my dancing to that song in Bowling Green. Of course, they also played some Michael Jackson. James Brown Michael Jackson is dead. I imagine tonight, which is '80s night, will have even more of a Michael Jackson theme. I hope my body is recovered for dancing. I may go to the gym and lift weights before then too--don't want to neglect that side of fitness. Had salad bar at Whole Foods today. On the way back, a woman from the Ok Cupid dating site, who'd seen my profile, recognized me, and we had a chat. Still hung up on J from 20 years ago, of course, but it might be nice to expand my social circle. She has a master's in physics. I'm going to start reading some Schopenhauer, as there's a Meetup.com philosophy group that is discussing The World as Will and Representation. I can already write a run-down of the ideas, as I gather them, and how they fit in with my picture of things previously. I'd never read anything by him before, and was never familiar with his philosophy. Not the kind of philosopher favored by scientists.
| | Saturday, June 20th, 2009 | | 12:05 pm |
congrats!
Congrats to phantom_mom, whose unpublished novel (one of three such unpublished novels) has won honorable mention in a contest sponsored by Leapfrog Press. There were 480 entries, and 14 finalist or honorable mentions. The weather isn't bad just now. I'd go for a bike ride, but walking seems easier--then perhaps later to the gym. There's a wine and cheese party I'm going to in the evening. I also want to spend some time in independent study and work. I realize it takes a large investment of time to get anywhere--yet I also feel a need to decompress after a week at work. Even if sometimes at work I distractedly read updated blogs, still I'm focused on fixing minor problems, getting numbers in uniform order, anticipating what my boss wants, correcting bugs and fixing incompatibilities between different versions of my own software. I've picked up this book on superstring theory, which the notoriously hard to please Lubos Motl praises on amazon.com. (Reading the reviews of Woody Allen's new movie, with Larry David as a cranky old superstring theorist, I imagined the much younger Motl--who I know only from his blog and reputation--as providing Larry David's personality...) I should have read something like this before I taught that "Cultural Physics" class ("physics for poets") about unification in physics and how that impacts cultural worldviews. I daydream about accomplishing something really impressive (more than I devote sufficient time to accomplishing this!)--but then I imagine scorning people who would be impressed by the mere accomplishment and not the content, in my place in the world as opposed to who I am... When I look at my relationships, I see myself striving to remove anything I consider "superficial" in the attraction--I don't think I'd go for a woman if I felt she was interested in me for what I considered the "wrong reasons"... Though as a kind of relic of past relationships I am hung up on certain superficialities too (though at least I consider them to be such...) I often brood about relationships, the thoughts circling around in a vacuum, becoming reduced to logical skeletons of arguments of why everyone in the world feels differently from the way I do and why my attempting a relationship seems so futile... So then it's best, I suppose, just to give it a rest... (Though I think I'm not one of those for whom "you'll get what you're looking for once you stop looking so much" applies... If a relationship possibility that I really wanted appeared and I wasn't focused at the time on finding one, I wouldn't be able to make a move without that focus.) And finding a work situation where I follow my own initiative more is probably an area of my life that is more realistic for me to be able to make an improvement in. There's a protest showing solidarity with Iranians today, but having thought about it, I don't think I can justify going--when Americans ourselves, faced with a similar situation in the 2000 election, didn't even rally on our own behalf...
| | Saturday, June 13th, 2009 | | 8:12 pm |
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| | Sunday, June 7th, 2009 | | 10:59 pm |
tanned, rested, and ready
Well, I'm back from a 1 week vacation. I could have found benefit from a longer vacation, but I also like being back with my piano and gym. On vacation, I brought my procrastinated Cygnus X-1 paper nearer completion: I have to fix up the look of some contour plots and finesse some text, then it'll be ready. I still have a couple of proposals I want to write, to submit for funding opportunities to be determined in the future (I was thinking of submitting them to the Smithsonian Scholarly Studies program, but the deadline passed, and anyway, it doesn't provide funding for the PI, and only some proposals are even selected to go on to the main round)... For the FQXI.org fundamental physics essay contest, I got started writing down the ideas on the topic (on the possible and impossible in physics) that came to me off the top of my head, but to be of any depth I'll have to develop those ideas more or better yet, start over. Mostly during the vacation I developed a better understanding of the Dirac equation and tried to come up with some discrete models of it for my own curiosity. I found working with equations instead of diagrams with arrows going all over the place actually helped... I also went on daily hikes through the Woodstock countryside, paid heed to the decrees of the Dear Pet thechairmanmeow, but missed finding a ride to the first outdoor Freestyle Frolic of the season (and on a new stage too...) PoliticsI'd been writing a lot about politics on this blog in the run-up to the election. However, I feel there's not all that much to say now, really, from the point of view of someone who is pretty happy that Obama is running things. I see the justice of criticisms made from the left, that he may be moving too cautiously on divulging "interrogation methods", etc., and in removing Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell, although I can also see the political calculations involved, and that when fixing the economy, passing universal health care legislation, stopping environmental slide into climate crisis, etc. etc., one can only stick one's neck out so much... While I haven't updated this blog much recently in public entries, I've been whining more in friends-only entries, and I think after this vacation I'm going to try to sort of turn over a new leaf, in being more engaged and optimistic about changing situations I find myself in, about taking initiative, about getting myself out of ruts. I also want to set higher standards for myself--I want to be less diverted by the white noise of the constantly updated internet, to work more intelligently and more persistently.
| | Sunday, April 26th, 2009 | | 4:15 pm |
Went to the Arnold Arboretum with dholtzman. Spring, finally, in Boston, and flowers are starting bloom and trees are in bud.    Boston marathon! I'm not exactly leading the pack here:   And here a few of my favorite trees, the metasequoia:   Metasequoia, like the coelacanth, was thought have been extinct for millions of years. But they live on, like living fossils. I think I like Metasequoia and coelacanth so much because I feel like in my own life I'm also biding my time, I often feel deadened to the outside world, but kind of hoping that some day my promise will burst forth again... A friend of mine says she is "hibernating" from socialization these days, and while I am not going nearly that far, I'm not as happy as I could be about the present, and just hope against reason that somehow some possibilities from the past will recur...
| | Thursday, April 16th, 2009 | | 10:31 pm |
Rest in Peace, The Princess
My family's old Siamese cat, The Princess, died early this week. She was the mother of thechairmanmeow. For a couple of years, I lived in my parents' weekend home, and The Princess and thechairmanmeow were my constant companions. The Princess was a very sweet cat. thechairmanmeow loves hunting the Woodstock wildlife, but the rare times we'd see The Princess following some moving bug, we'd joke that she'd look as if she was too gentle to attack it, but still had those cat instincts of playing with moving objects... She also used to love it when I turned on the visualizer on my iTunes, and she'd love to watch the swirling colors. She loved to sit in the Sun. I'd open the front door in Woodstock and she'd sit in the spot of Sun. On a winter day when the air was clear, you could watch her face as she'd savor the tiniest smells that she'd notice in the breeze. She wasn't an adventurous cat like thechairmanmeow, but she got everything out of being a homebody she could. Even when we brought her to the vet, she rarely complained. She loved to get under the covers, loved to join me and my parents when watching a video in the den. A year and a half before she died, a male cat sometimes came by to visit in Woodstock. Against good judgment, I figured I'd let her go outside and play with him, and for a while we thought she might be pregnant, but she was already very old by then. Instead of being pregnant, it turned out she had diabetes. She'd go through spells of dizziness and fainting. Anyway, here are some photos of her:    
| | Saturday, March 7th, 2009 | | 10:43 pm |
things to do
I'm giving a talk on my research a week from Wednesday. I should get some results. I should download the latest Keynote and start putting together a presentation. I'm also presenting a poster at a conference in Rio in early August.
I should start up my science club, CLUE (Cosmology, Life, the Universe, and Everything) once more--3/14, Pi day and Einstein's 130th birthday, is just a week from today! Perfect day for the meeting.
Proposals to use the Chandra X-ray telescope are coming up. I should think about whether I want to write a proposal, or contribute to someone else's proposal.
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